A smattering of musings from the Isle of Isolation

A smattering of musings from the Isle of Isolation
WDAM's Tim Doherty does a little mental meandering while social isloating during the coronavirus pandemic. (Source: Gray Media)

HATTIESBURG, Miss. (WDAM) - Heading into week nine (we think) of being a social isolist, and just wondering if what we know now is really any more than what we knew when COVID-19 first came outta the closet ...

  • Saw an article recently touting the 21 “Iron Men” of the National Football League, a tip o’cap to players who had careers spanning at least 20 years.

Lotsa place-kickers, which comes as no surprise, including a trio of ex-New Orleans Saints in Morten Andersen, John Carney and John Kasay.

You had a handful of double-duty fellas, like George Blanda, quarterback/place-kicker, whose 26-year career started with Papa Bear in Chicago. His best-known days (thanks TV) came with the Oakland Raiders.

You had Lou Groza of the Browns, who not only kicked, but played and excelled at offensive tackle.

Blanda had the longest overall career, while former Detroit place-kicker Jason Hanson is the answer to the trivia question: “Who played the most seasons with just one NFL team?” Twenty-one of them for Hanson and the Lions.

Blanda is joined by two QBs you should guess, Green Bay’s Brett Favre and formerly-New England’s Tom Brady, and another two who might be deeper grabs: Earl Morrall and Vinny Testaverde.

Favre has crazy numbers: 297 consecutive starts in the regular-seasons, 327 straight when you throw in postseason starts. Testaverde has the most career losses by a starting NFL quarterback: 123.

The list features one receiver, Jerry Rice, and only three defensive guys, cornerback Darrell Green, linebacker Junior Seau and defensive end Jim Marshall.

And finally, we come to former Jackson State University standout Jackie Slater, who played 20 years with the same team, the Rams.

  • OK, let’s say a tree falls in the forest, but because of social isolation policies, no one is around.

Does it make a sound or is it cited for violating safe-distancing practices from its fellow trees?

  • From the “Hard-To-Argue-With" file: Saw this headline recently, “Businesses that can’t reopen continue to struggle.”

You know, that’s probably so.

  • Seems actor/philanthropist Matthew McConaughey and the missus have been hopping in their pickup here lately to deliver more than 100,000 face masks to rural Texas hospitals.

Well, all right, all right, all right.

And gotta say, that is just so damn Texas.

  • You thought stark blue skies reflected in a serene lake might constitute the jigsaw puzzle from Hades?

No, no, no.

The good people from Heinz Ketchup have come up with a puzzle consisting of nothing but red pieces.

Five-hundred-seventy, Heinz-Ketchup red, jigsaw puzzle pieces.

Wow.

We’re in.

  • And while reading about the puzzle in red, we learned that there exist “clear” jigsaw puzzles.

Don’t quite know what the distinction in degree-of-difficulty between a one-color puzzle and a clear one would be in terms of what goes where, but that’s just one bridge too far for us, thank you.

  • From the “Wha-what” file: One of the Olsen twins is getting a divorce.

Might be Mary-Kate, might be Ashley. Not sure. Even after all these years, still can’t tell 'em apart.

But raise your hands out there if you knew one of the Olsen twins was married.

Yeah, we neither.

An aside: After extensive research (we googled it), we’ve determined that the divorcing Olsen was Mary-Kate.

  • Noticed a piece on a Japanese drinking establishment that has devised a device at its entrance that sprays customers down with disinfectant as they enter.

Nothing like a good shot of Lysol mist to cleanse the palate and take your evening to another level.

On its face, this just sounds like a really bad idea, but perhaps that’s where we’re headed as a society.

“What is that delicate scent you’re wearing this evening?”

“Eau de Pine-Sol. Do you like it?”

  • Saw where a family out on a cabin-fever-relief spin recently found nearly $1 million in the middle of the road. They called a friend of the family who happened to be a deputy, then called the sheriff.

In the end, the two bags of money were returned to the United States Postal Service, which for some reason was transporting nearly $1 million, in cash, in two bags, and somehow, lost nearly $1 million, in cash, in two bags.

This begs a few questions:

  1. What the heck is postal service doing toting around that kind of moolah?
  2. Where the heck were these bags of cash situated to wind up in the middle of a road in Virginia? “Naw, go ahead, Ned, just toss ‘em anywhere in the back there by that door that doesn’t always wanna close. They should be fine.”

The family turned the money in, which was way cool., but also which begs a final question: What would you have done?

  • Be kind. Be wary. Be smart. Be safe.

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