If being in love is one of the greatest human experiences, then breaking up is definitely one of the worst. If you're going through a painful break-up, listen carefully to our communications coach, Marcia Brandwynne, who has some advice on getting over your heartache.
"For some people, breaking up with a lover is devastating, and it feels as if the pain will never go away," says Coach Marcia. "Being in love can be like a powerful drug. When we lose it, we go into withdrawal. If you're going through a break-up right now, there are some steps you can take to lessen the pain."
The first thing to do is look in the mirror and see how terrific you still are. Understand that you don't need someone else's eyes to reflect your wonderful qualities.
Coach Marcia recommends writing down all the things that are great about you: Your face, character, work ethic, compassion. You get the idea. That list will be very important when those inevitable waves of pain come rolling, or crashing, in.
"A big cause of pain in many break-ups is that losing a lover takes you back in time to the losses and grief of childhood," Coach Marcia explains. "As kids, separating from our parents burrows deep into our hearts. As an adult, when we're going through a break-up, that same feeling of loneliness and even terror can come back to haunt us. Exploring these emotions, whether on your own or with someone you trust, can be a good step forward."
Finally, when the searing pain begins to subside, go out and do the things you really enjoy. Be compassionate and generous with yourself. And the next time you fall in love, make sure you love yourself first.
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